Okay, a couple of things you need to know for this to make any sort of sense:
1. I'm quite happy being a sahm but with my youngest going to Kindergarten in September I have been perusing the help-wanted ads for the last little bit now in search of something very part time.
2. I have no luck getting jobs. I realize that not being college or university educated is a bit of a liability but I am fairly intelligent. Still any job I've had in the past has been menial and has never required much thought. I do, however, have quite a bit of volunteer experience in some areas.
3. All the jobs I have had have basically been on-the-spot hires. I have never interviewed for a job.....until today when, after sending them my resume, I was called for an interview for a position with our small town's chamber of commerce.
4. Yep, I really can say it backwards and I do it really, really fast too. (And I'm insanely, ridiculously proud of it.)
7:42 am: Send older kids out the door for the bus. No way I'm telling them I'm going into town at the same time as school starts, even though it's pouring rain. If I take them to school I will be late for the interview, it's practically guaranteed.
8:03 am: Print off references and extra resume. Be amazed that the file containing my resume hadn't spontaneously combusted and the printer actually worked. Put in folder by door so I don't forget them.
8:17 am : Dress for interview. Pick the only business casual shirt I own which is a nice light blue with 2/3 length sleeves. (Yes, I know the proper term is 3/4 length sleeves but I have big long monkey arms so the sleeves are 2/3 length on me.) Apply makeup (which is generally something I only do on special occasions) and fix hair (which is generally something I do only every day).
8:32 am: Go over talking points in my head, decide to wow my new potential employers with my ability to be able to say the alphabet backwards at an incredibly fast speed only as a last resort. Might as well keep something back to impress them later if they decide to hire me.
8:45 am: Say hello to my dad who has dropped by to watch my youngest. (I hear bringing children to job interviews is generally frowned upon.) Get admonished by him for not being ready, listen to a mini-lecture about how the worst thing I could do would be show up late, feel like I'm 15 again for the next 6 and a half minutes.
8:51 am: Leave house for interview. While driving check passenger seat 12 times to make sure I've brought my folder with references and resume.
8:57 am: Arrive at interview site. Find the door locked. Immediately panic thinking that I'm supposed to meet the lady at her place of business rather than the chamber office.
8:59 am: Get let into office and meet W whom I didn't realize would also be interviewing me.
9:03 am: Sit down at table and artfully arrange myself in a being-interviewed pose. (Leaning forward, making eye contact, smoothing my shirt to make sure the buttons aren't gaping as I suddenly remember why, in addition to the whole 2/3 length sleeve issue, it is that I don't wear this shirt.)
9:04 - 9:22 am: Proceed with interview. I do well, I mm-hmm in all the right places, nod, say sure when the situation calls for it, don't make any interview faux pas liking picking my nose or giggling when they tell me what my "duties" would be. Got my wacky personality reined in, hog-tied and stuffed in my folder with my resume and references.
9:23 am: Realize that they are doing all the talking and not asking me any questions. Really, aside from the formalities, I haven't said more than a few words. Question whether this is a good or bad thing. Decide it's good - they want to make sure I know what the job entails before letting me sell myself to them.
9:26 am: The interview ends. Rather abruptly. I manage to not let my surprise show. Honestly, I've said nothing! Panic in my head a bit, give them my references, handshakes, lots of smiles from them, they thank me profusely for coming, I thank them profusely for having me, and I start feeling fairly confident that things went well and I might have a pretty good shot at this job.
9:27 am: See the next interviewee on my way out the door. She's got university educated stamped on her forehead. (I wasn't aware we could be so blatant in our self-promotion.) She's caring a very official looking briefcase, not a bright red, plastic, dollar store folder she stole from her 7 year old with the promise that he "could have his home reading folder back tomorrow."
9:37 am: Arrive home. Tell my dad that, "No, I was not late" adding a few choice words, but only in my head.
9:38 am: Replay interview in my head. Feel pretty good about it.
9:54 am: Replay interview in my head. Feel like it went okay.
10:17 am: Replay interview in my head. Wish I had said more about what I could bring to the job.
10:39 am: Replay interview in my head. Positive I tanked it. Go bite a huge chunk off one of my kids' chocolate bunnies to console myself.
10:59 am: Stare at empty plastic bag. Poor bunny never had a chance. Vow to buy ds #1 another chocolate bunny when I'm at the grocery store today. Cheer up a bit when I realize that to make the ruse work I'll have to eat half of the new bunny to make it look like it did when ds last saw it.
11:00 am - 3:04 pm: Go about day.
3:05 pm: Sitting at desk working on card. Phone rings and call display lets me know it's the lady who interviewed me. Let the phone ring exactly 2 and a half times, don't want to seem too eager.
3:06 pm: Find out I didn't get the job. But, she did say a number of times, that I gave an excellent interview. Said the only reason I didn't get the job was that someone with a lot of experience had also applied. Bet it was that darn woman with the briefcase. Told me she'd keep my resume on file and let me know if anyone through the chamber was looking for someone part-time.
3:11 pm: Reviewed what this experience has taught me. People think I'm pretty darn awesome.....as long as I keep my mouth shut. So, hmmmmmm, nothing...really....new.......
But on the bright side, I now have an interview under my belt and I got to write something on my blog that didn't have to do with a card. Look at that! Expanding my horizons as we speak.....or read......but I'm typing, you're reading.......hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm................................................